


Filosofizing 3: Remix

by ghoulette13



Series: Boys' Night Universe [8]
Category: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Canon-Typical Behavior, Healthy Relationships, Humor, M/M, Nipple Licking, talks of CharMacDen, talks of MacDennis, talks of the Waitress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 01:41:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21263012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghoulette13/pseuds/ghoulette13
Summary: Charlie and Mac spell out some of the details of their past relationships and their future one. On weed.-----It was only about… three in the afternoon on a Tuesday in Philly when Charlie started banging on Mac’s door, pounding hard enough that the metal apartment numbers shook on their screws. His composure faltered with how quickly Mac opened up and yanked him in like he just got sucked into the vacuum of space.Mac held him by the collar of his green twill jacket and kissed him soft and slow, a heat filling his stomach. He pulled back an inch and spoke into the other man’s lips. “I love you.”“I love you, too,” Charlie answered with a grin before meeting him in another kiss, comforted by the scratch of his beard and the taste of his tongue.“I love that we say that now.”





	Filosofizing 3: Remix

**Author's Note:**

> AN AU WHERE…. Charlie never bangs the waitress, he heals his childhood trauma, and he spent several years watching Mac and Dennis play ‘sex games’ in a secret event they all called "Boys’ Night." It's a very CharMacDen story. 
> 
> FYI:: This contains a lot of references to previous stories in the series.

It was only about… three in the afternoon on a Tuesday in Philly when Charlie started banging on Mac’s door, pounding hard enough that the metal apartment numbers shook on their screws. His composure faltered with how quickly Mac opened up and yanked him in like he just got sucked into the vacuum of space. 

Mac held him by the collar of his green twill jacket and kissed him soft and slow, a heat filling his stomach. He pulled back an inch and spoke into the other man’s lips. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Charlie answered with a grin before meeting him in another kiss, comforted by the scratch of his beard and the taste of his tongue. 

“I love that we say that now.”

“_ God _. Me, too,” Charlie responded with another press of his body into Mac’s, his hands rubbing up and down his sides.

“Oh my god, dude,” Mac chuckled and twisted his way out of Charlie’s embrace. “What is stabbing me? ‘Cause I know it’s not your boner!”

Charlie opened up his jacket as Mac made his way to lock the door. “Check it out, man. I sewed a pocket for the bong!”

“Why not just use your backpack?” Mac laughed and put his palms over his eyes. “Dude, if you fell or something, like… all of that broken glass would be in your stomach and you’d be _ dead! _”

Charlie threw his hand out. “But this is _ hands-free _, dude!” He stomped into the kitchen and pulled out the piece.

“So is a _ backpack! _ ”

“Not _ mine! _ Mine’s got that broken _ strap _ and shit!”

Mac groaned. “Whatever, man.” He laughed with an exhale. “Also you_ reek _of pot.” He pointed as Charlie began to fill the bong with water. “You’re gonna get yourself arrested one day, dude.”

Charlie huffed. “Whatever, man. Nobody pays attention to me.” He put the piece down and opened up the refrigerator. _ Just say it. Just gotta say it. _ He felt a twist in his stomach and used it to spring the words up and out his throat. “So like, now that we’re boyfriend-and-boyfriend--”

“Dude! We’re almost _ forty! _ ” Mac threw his hand out. “Just say _ man _-friend.”

“No.” Charlie turned his face to Mac and held his palm up, chuckling. “I’m not--look, I’m not--Dude, you’re fucking me up, man.” He sighed and turned back away. “Look, I’m just wondering if like, now that we’re all in love and shit and we’re doing this, then…” He huffed and looked at Mac with a grimace on his face. “Does that mean I have to move in?”

Mac laughed. “Well _ shit _ , man! Not if you’re gonna be like _ that _about it!”

“I just need my space and all…" He shut the fridge and started opening up the cabinets, eyes scanning the shelves for anything of interest.

“You could technically have space here.” Mac pointed to Dennis’ old room, now trashed to shit and dubbed ‘The Smoke Room.’ An offer, but without much pressure. Mac had been enjoying having the place all to himself.

“Yeah, but it’s like… not the same.” Charlie shrugged, waving his head side-to-side at an old bag of cheetos he left here last time. He briefly remembered the resulting stomachache and decided otherwise. “And plus, I gotta take care of my lil buddy Frank and shit.”

“Yeah, dude’s gettin’ old.”

“Yeah, he is,” Charlie stared off a moment, hypnotized by the idea of mortality--the idea of existing and then just _ not…. _ He blinked back to the present. “I’ll probably just keep staying over sometimes like I usually do.”

Mac pointed at the liquor bottle on the table and Charlie responded by throwing his hands out thinking to himself, _ Of course, It was in front of my face the whole time! _

“Aaand… what about me?” Mac asked, cautiously and scratching the back of his neck. “Do you want me to stop going out and shit?”

“You do you, man. Do whatever you want.” Charlie’s chuckles grew louder with Mac’s responding grin. “Just uhh... don’t go get another _ boyfriend _ or anything.”

Mac smiled. “No way, man!” He held up his finger. “And it’s _ man _-friend.”

“Right!” Charlie squeezed his brows together and took a few sips of the tequila. “So uh… do you wanna smoke out here or in the room?” 

“Uhhh… let’s just smoke in the room.” He waved his hand around with a grimace. “It gets all smoky and dry out here.”

“Well, it gets smoky and dry in there, too.” Charlie said as he stepped closer to Mac. 

“Yeah, but it’s okay ‘cause like… it’s The Smoke Room, you know? Like… I know that there’s supposed to be smoke in the room, so I notice it less or like it just doesn’t bother me as much. But out here my brain is thinking that this is the living room and it needs to be empty and clear, so when there’s smoke, it just really fucks with me.”

Charlie’s eyes grew wide. “Nice one, dude! We haven’t even _ smoked _, yet!”

“I _ know, _ man!” Mac grinned, feeling that easiness Charlie gave him. “I’ve been trying to slow shit down a lot lately.” He grimaced. “Sometimes, it just makes it all worse, but hey!” He held up his fist. “I get something every once in a while.”

“Way to go, man,” Charlie grinned and patted Mac on the arm, leaving it there for a moment.

They made drinks in the kitchen before packing into The Smoke Room. Mac sat cross-legged at the head of the bed, back against the wall, and packed the bowl. Charlie settled across from him and waited quietly. They took three heavy rips each--coughing and choking and filling the room with a haze of smoke--before setting the bong down on the bedside table.

Charlie tried to fight off the burn in his lungs, once again reminding himself to switch to edibles. But it had become this thing with Mac that they did together. A way to unleash all the chains that held their lips shut tight, decades of barred off topics finally being unearthed and examined--forgotten relics in their shared mental vault. ...And I mean, at least he and Dee were on nicotine patches now instead of cigarettes. _ So it cancels itself out, right? _

It didn’t.

Charlie scratched through the coarse hair on his jaw and held a warm grin. “I wanted to be the one to say it first, you know? The ‘I love you.’ Get all romantic and shit and show you a good time.”

Mac choked out a high-pitched laugh. “Dude, the last time you tried to do the whole ‘love’ thing, we both cried like bitches over Dennis.”

Charlie scoffed sharply. “What’s_ that _supposed to mean?”

“I love you, Charlie,” Mac said again, a heat tickling his gut at the other man’s offended expression. “But that _ really _ wasn’t your best laid plan.”

“_ Hey! _ ” Charlie’s cheeks turned red. “I-I-I got the job done!” He grinned, embarrassed. “I got us talking about shit! I know how to plan! I keep that bar _ running _ on all my goddamn plans!” Charlie threw his hand down indignantly. “Don’t talk to ME about PLANS!”

Mac chuckled. “Well, what was your plan this time? For admitting that you were _ sooo _ in love with me?” He rubbed his palm on Charlie's thigh and gently squeezed.

Charlie’s body sparked for a moment. _ Mac won’t hurt me _, he told himself before relaxing into the warmth of the other man’s hand. He tried to conjure the list of ‘Discussion Topics’ in his notebook instead of pulling it out of his pocket to check. “I was gonna talk about, you know… giving up on my dream of the Waitress and then like… talk about the bag-of-poop thing and then… oh! I was gonna ask you about Predator….” 

“_ Dude! _ “ Mac squeezed his brows together and grinned. “What does _ any of that _ have to do with you being in love with me?”

“Well…” Charlie tilted his head to the side. “I guess… not much really.” He laughed at himself. “You know what it was?” He waited for Mac to nod in response. “I just had stuff I wanted to talk to you about but then I also wanted to sweep you off your feet and I thought ‘Ey! Two birds, one bush!”

Mac threw his head back with a smile. “That’s a _ terrible _plan!"

Charlie shook his head in tight bobs. “_ How, _ uh, exactly?” He scratched the back of his neck. 

“Be_ cause _ dude, when you tell someone you love them, it’s supposed to be all _ dramatic _ and like, you gotta build up this whole like… mind-heart-soul connection and shit.” Mac found himself getting worked up in the imagery in his mind: two sparkling, buff, and winged angels dancing with each other in the summer sun. His coming-out dance was still a.. _ . work-in-progress. _ “And you gotta be like… feeling the inner vibration of god.” 

“DUDE!” Charlie’s eyes popped. “You told me you were _ in _ love with me, _ for the first time _ , while we were making dick jokes with Frank and Dee!” Charlie threw his hand out. “How the fuck was _ that _ the ‘ _ inner vibration’-- _” He said mockingly. “--of god? ”

“I-I-It was an accident, okay?” Mac went red, his heart still fluttering. “I was feeling very emotional that day and you were over there on the other side of the bar just like... _ staring _ at me like the sun shined outta my ass or something and … it just kinda… _ came out.” _

Charlie tucked his neck in and chuckled. “GOD! We _ suck _ at this shit.”

“Yeah we do.” Mac fiddled with the hem of his shirt. He hated to change the mood, but he shrugged his left shoulder and let the words fall out. "And anyway, I think it's_ better _ that _ I _said it first because of all that Dennis-shit, you know? 'Cause me and him never said it."

Charlie sighed solemnly. He reached out with his hand on Mac’s knee. "Yeah, I'm sorry man."

"It's whatever, now, but like,” he shook his head. “We just got so caught up in each other, but it was like… we were always different people. We were never ourselves. We were different around you and then we were different around Frank and around Dee. And then even to each other!” He rolled his wrist in circles. “And he just kept winding himself up tighter and tighter--”

“Yeah…” Charlie groaned quietly. 

“And I made it my job to fix him and it just made it all worse--”

“Hey, man! Dennis did his fair share--”

“Oh _ I know! _ I _ know _ he did!” Mac said firmly before rolling his eyes. “Me and Dennis were just _ torturing _ each other, you know? We were living together and having all this sex but we couldn’t say it. We couldn’t fucking admit that we were in love with each other and honestly?” He shrugged. “I’m glad. I’m glad we didn’t say it. We were so bad for each other.” He squeezed his brows together. “He was winding himself up so tight and like… about to snap and he could handle less and less of the everyday shit and I just kept _ filling in the blanks _ , you know?” He huffed, but there was no heat left in him. Dennis felt like another relic at this point. “I kept doing whatever I could to keep him _ calm _ and _ happy _ like maybe if I just say the right things and do things the right way then he’ll finally admit it--he’ll finally say that he loves me and all of this will be worth it and then we’ll just live happily ever after or whatever!” 

“Like the RPG?”

“_ Dude! _ How the hell did that _ not work?! _ ” He screamed. “How the _ fuck _ did that not get him to admit it?”

Charlie chuckled. “Yeah, man, I was surprised on that one, too.” He smiled. “Dude looked like he was about to cry.”

“He _ did! _ ” Mac yelled. “He cried like a fucking _ bitch _ when we got home!”

Charlie covered his mouth, half-smiling and half-grimacing. “What was he_ saying? _ ”

“_ Nothing _ , dude!” Mac hunched over laughing. “He just kept crying and crying and like…” He straightened up. “I felt kinda responsible, you know, for breaking through to the inner depths of his soul like that.” He chuckled. “But like, I wasn’t even doing it for him to _ actually _ get better. I was just doing it for myself, man! To make _ myself _ feel better and to make myself feel justified for all the--” He waved his hand in the air, his mind picturing a cloud of long-past painful memories. “-- _ shit _, you know?”

“Yeah, I know what that’s like, man.” Charlie huffed. “It’s like all the Waitress-shit.” He laid back on the bed and covered his eyes with his palm. “Like... I really thought she was gonna be my wife, dude.”

Mac rolled his eyes. He leaned back against the wall again. “Yeah! I _ know! _ ”

“No, but _ really, _ dude.” He smiled in embarrassment. “It was like… you and Dennis were out all the time just banging chicks left and right and I hated it, man. Like I hated the _ strip club _ shit so much.” 

“Really?” Mac hated it for his own reasons. He had assumed Charlie got _ something _ out of it with how often they used to go. _ And sometimes still go…, _ but Mac tucked that thought away for later.

“Yeah, man, it just fucked with my _head_ ‘cause like... the strippers were always_ smiling_ and coming _up to me_ and it made me feel so _seen_, you know?” Noticing him. Mirroring him. Reflecting back whatever image he wanted to see. “Like I was _different_, you know? Like I was _special_\--”

“But it was _ fake _ , dude.” Mac threw his hands up. “That’s what they were getting paid to _ do _ \-- is to like make you feel all special and shit _ . _”

“Yeah, I _know!_ But like… I _didn’t _know, you know? Or like I couldn’t _see_ it!” He held his hand out and rolled his head to face Mac. “I couldn’t _see_ that it was their job because I just wanted it to be real _so bad, _man.” He chuckled. “Like maybe she really _did _‘see’ me but couldn’t _do_ anything about it because yeah, _it’s her job!_” He shook his head. “And that’s how it was with the Waitress, man.” His eyes looked at the ceiling as his mind filled up with a memory. “Like, she smiled at me one day before she was like… even on the clock and a-a-a _switch_ went off in my_ head_ and I said, ‘Her. I pick her. I’m done with this dating shit. She’s gonna be my wife and we’ll live happily ever after’ and like I just put all this _shit_ on her like _I couldn’t see the line_, you know? The line that said, ‘Hey! I don’t want you!’ And she kept _screaming _it at me and I just ignored it ‘c-c-cause I had _already picked her_ and I had already _committed_ to her and commitment meant _forever_ and marriage meant_ forever _and husband and wife meant _forever_\--” At the time, ‘forever’ was only a flash. An endpoint. A destination. It wasn’t the slow moving seconds and minutes and hours and days that repeated again and again and again _and again. _

“And that bitch did _ not _ pick you back.” 

“Yeah, I _ know! _ But like… it didn’t click that it had to go _ both ways _ , you know? Like I saw how you and Dennis were with chicks and I saw how you guys fuckin’ treated ‘em and talked about ‘em.” 

“_ What do you mean? _ ” Mac had immediately felt defensive, but wanted to be clear about what he was being defensive about.

“_ Dude! _ You guys would tell me all this _ shit _ you did to get chicks to bang you, to like… ‘get sex’ from them or whatever… like-like-like they fucking _ owed _ you for all the work you put in and shit and like--” Charlie scrunched his shoulders and twisted his face. “--I wasn’t really into that kinda sex-shit but hey, maybe if I put all this work in to _ one _ chick and really show her that I could take care of her, I’ll get the bigger reward of like… _ happiness _ forever and ever _ . _ ” He covered his face with his hands. “And I was so _ obsessed _ with her being my _ wife _\--”

Mac rolled his eyes and threw his hand out. “You still banged other chicks, though.”

Charlie groaned in frustration as his face turned red. “Oh my GOD, dude. I KNOW I banged other chicks! I GET that I banged other chicks! STOP BRINGING UP THE OTHER CHICKS!”

Mac grinned. He tapped Charlie’s side with his foot. “Why are you so_ touchy _about that, dude?”

Charlie could barely keep a straight face. “‘Cause I was so fucking_ bad _ at it!”

Mac coughed out a laugh in surprise. “Wait, what? You were bad at _ what? _ Like _ sex? _ ”

“Yes, _ asshole! _“

Mac couldn’t believe it. Especially since he had first-hand experience. “Dude, didn’t you have like… crazy sex for _ hours _with that chick up in the Poconos?”

_It’s different on the slopes,_ they had said. Charlie had tried to trust them, constantly getting lost between what was a scheme and what was real and... _who the hell was that announcer guy? _Not long after arriving in the mountains, he gave up and gave in. _Regretfully..._ He covered his face with his hands. “Yeah and it took hours ‘cause I never FINISHED_, dude! _I could never fucking COME! ” Charlie let out a laugh while his face flushed and his stomach burned. “My head wasn’t even _in it _when we were banging, dude. I swear to god, I was _hand-stoving_ it _the entire time! _”

Mac jerked his head back with a chuckle. “You were also on _ mushrooms _ , Charlie.”

“Heh, well, yeah.” Charlie huffed, his body cooling a bit. “But like she was just moving me around and shit and I wasn’t even like… _ in _ my body. It’s like… I was there but I wasn’t, you know what I mean?” He laid flat on his back again and spoke with his hands in the air. “My head just took everything in and was like ‘This is what _ men _ do and this is what _ women _ do’ and I was just like ‘Yeah, whatever, okay’ so that’s what I _ did. _ I'm supposed to be the _ man _ . I'll do _ man stuff _ or whatever.” It hadn’t been a terrible experience for Charlie. But he could never maintain focus.

“Shit, dude, I know what you mean.” Mac groaned._ Life’s designated ‘Man stuff.’ Ugh. _ “I used to get so pissed off sometimes because I’d be banging a chick and just going through circles in my head trying to figure out _ why _ I was supposed to be into ‘em and thinkin’ they’re hot and shit and like… _ why _ I was supposed to get points for bangin’ em and it just made them like… even more grosser.” His grimace turned into a smile and he raised his chest. “But at least I never have to bang one ever again!”

“Yeah, you’re right on that.” Charlie laughed, eyes scanning the room. Punctured plaster walls, strings and strings of plastic beads hanging from the ceiling, a wayward lamp made out of a pyramid of rebar poles and coated with drooping piles of dried hot glue. He groaned at his mind’s repetitive fog. “It was all just _one-sided_ with the Waitress, man. Like I had a picture of her hanging up--” He held his hand outward before pulling it to his head. “--and then I had this whole _dream_ in my head of _who _she was and _how_ she was and what she wanted to_ be_ and like--” His shoulders tensed up to his ears. “I couldn’t see what was _real _and what was_ fake._” A grave look washed over his face, but his gut didn’t tense as tightly as it used to. “And then when I _did_ try to have something real with like-like-like that Ruby Taft chick, I _really_ fucked it up, dude. I fucked it up _so bad_.” He raised his palm in defeat. “‘Cause I wasn’t over the _Waitress_ and I _knew_ it and like I thought maybe if I just jump into this _brand new thing_ with someone I _don’t even know--_” He shook his head in disbelief. “--that maybe I’ll get it _right_ this time!” He laughed with disgust. “And it was such a _disaster_ , dude! And when the Waitress called and asked for me?” He turned to Mac, head still shaking side-to-side. He stared with bewildered eyes. “Oh my _god, _dude. I panicked ‘cause I knew like... right then and there that I wanted the Waitress back and I had to get outta that building _real quick_ to run to her like some ‘_good guy’--_” He fanned his hands in toward his chest as he curled his lips in a grimace. “--or like some pathetic little lovesick piece of _shit!” _He threw his hand out, fed-up by his own past choices. “And then like, I had to find a way to break up with Ruby in front of a _whole_ crowd of people--” He leaned back into the mattress with his hands in surrender. “--without looking like an _asshole_ so I just took aaaall that panic--” He waved his palm in a circle. “--and threw it _right_ at her face and made _her _look like_ shit!_ ” An anger heated his cheeks and skin. An anger toward himself. “‘Cause I didn’t really care about her. I was just trying out all this relationship-shit on her. A-a-a-and all I _really_ wanted was the Waitress.” He pulled his shoulders to his ears and he twisted his neck. “But not _really _the Waitress, ‘cause it was just this _idea_ of her that I saw in my head and _GOD! _Everything was just all in _my _**_head_****!**” He croaked for several seconds, letting out any remaining heat behind this particular memory. “And like I don’t want to do that to _you_ , dude.” He reached out and rubbed his palm on Mac’s knee. “I watched you and Dennis for so long so it’s like… in my head, I think I know what you want, you know? I think I know what’s gonna make you happy and make us good, but like that was you and Dennis and now it’s me and you and like…” He chuckled in embarrassment. “I’m freakin’ out, man.”

Mac laughed. “Don’t freak out, man. Don’t freak out at all.” 

“I thought you’d be like… dying for me to move in and shit. You made me stay over so much after Dennis left.”

Mac rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah, but it’s kinda awesome now having this place to myself. I don’t have to stick to a routine if I don’t want to. I can just come home and take off all my clothes and walk around naked for fucking... hours at a time.” He laughed. “Dude, I showered the other day and then just passed out on the couch in my towel watching TV. It was awesome!” Charlie laughed. “No one around to tell me to get dressed or I don’t know… do my ‘designated’ chores.” He scoffed. “Dude… I spent three days straight eating thin mints on the couch with no one to tell me not to!”

“_ Three _ days? Really?”

“Oh yeah,” he nodded. “Worst diarrhea of my life but it was_ totally _ worth it!” He tilted his head to the side. “Well, maybe it wasn’t... because on the _ fourth _ day, I spent 2 straight hours just… _ shitting _ my brains out.”

“Wait, is that why you couldn’t come to me and Frank’s thing?”

Mac grimaced. “Yeaaahhhh.”

Charlie laughed. “Oh my god, dude.”

“Now I can’t even smell mint without like… my whole body just trembling and sweating.”

“I’m like that with cinnamon rum, dude.” Charlie laughed again. “Last time I drank it, I like… woke up in Dennis’ bathroom like… half naked and my asshole was on _ fire! _”

Mac’s eyes grew wide as he gasped. “Oh _ shit _, dude! I remember that!” He put his lips between his teeth and glanced a way a bit in embarrassment. “So like… uh... “ He chuckled. “You know, um--”

Charlie’s face dropped. “Oh god, dude. Do I _ wanna _ know? Are you sure this is something I _ wanna _ remember?”

Mac grinned. “Dude, okay. So… technically…” He started picking at his own nails. “Technically, _ you were _ the one to say ‘I love you’ first.”

Charlie’s eyes grew wide. “Oh god. Oh no.” He cringed in anticipation. “Dude, what happened?”

Mac sat up straight. “Okay, so like you showed up to our apartment like, super wasted, and Dennis let you in and I was sitting on the couch. But then you started like… hurling in the toilet and Dennis came and grabbed me ‘cause you started like--” Mac tensed with a smile. “--_ shitting _ yourself and so I had to… clean you up.” Charlie’s face dropped. “And when you finally… _ came to _ or whatever, you were like ‘Whoa, dude, you cleaned up my shit? You really _ do _ love me!’” Mac started chuckling. “And then you were like, ‘I love you, _ too _ , dude!’ and you leaned in and tried to _ kiss _ me!”

Charlie covered his face, mortified. “Jesus fucking Christ, dude. Are you for real?”

Mac snickered. “Yeah!”

“Oh god, I don’t know, man.” He coughed out a laugh. “I don’t know if I wanted to know that or not, but like now I know and it’s in my brain and…. Jesus fucking _ Christ _, dude.”

“Yeah, but it’s okay, man.” He shrugged. “I mean, you weren’t _ wrong. _ Like, I did _ love _ you and shit.”

“Oh yeah?” Charlie’s embarrassment began to fade.

“Of course, man!” Mac was tempted to tell Charlie that his confession of love made him panic and was one of the reasons that spurred him to bang the Waitress... but thought _ better _ than to bring that up. “I just didn’t know how to say it and then me and Dennis started banging and then that thing happened with you--”

“Oh god, dude. That first time…” The first threesome. Before Boys’ Night had a name and rules and all the convoluted bullshit.

“Insane, right?”

“INSANE!” Charlie agreed with a shout.

“Dude, I was freaking out because you were there, like, fucking asleep on the floor and Dennis just kept being like ‘it’s okay, he’s asleep!’”

“Yeah, I _ was _ asleep but you guys don’t know how to fucking _ whisper _ and I kept hearing my name!” Charlie threw his head back. “I was about to _ rip _ you guys a new one til I saw what you were doin’!”

Mac laughed and covered his face, flushed red. “And then you leaned against the TV!”

“That’s only ‘cause Dennis had like--waved me over after you did or whatever!” He pulled his chin to his neck with half a smile and half a grimace. “And I flipped_ out _, dude!”

“I _ know! _ Your face got _ so _ fucking red!” Mac pointed at the other man. “And you just started whacking it!” He emphasized with the jerk of his hand.

“Well, yeah, man! I didn’t want it to stop or anything!” Charlie laughed, face turning just as flush as Mac’s. 

Mac put his hand over his mouth. “We got so loud, man.”

“SO fucking loud!” Charlie curled over onto the bed, feeling safe and warm and overwhelmed with amusement. 

Tears filled Mac’s eyes from the sheer absurdity he felt over that first night. “I think--I think Dennis got pissed when I called out _ your _ name instead of his!”

“He _ did, _ dude! He looked so pissed off!” Charlie pointed and laughed even harder. “You _ know _ what he was fuckin’ thinkin’, too!”

“Right? He was probably like, ‘I do all the work around here for these goddamn animals and Mac says _ Charlie’s _ name when he comes?’”

Charlie sat upright with his chest out, imitating Dennis’ pompous nature as he spoke, “You sing praises of this PEASANT when in the presence of a _ GOD? _ ”

“I thought he was just being weird, but that asshole was bitter for a _ whole fucking week _ after that!”

Charlie cackled and kicked his feet on the mattress. “NICE!”

“Oh my god, dude. He was like… so fucking jealous for a little while, you know? Like he didn’t want to invite you over and shit--”

Charlie wagged his head smugly, “But I just kept on showin up!”

“I _ know _ , dude!” Mac snorted. “That first time, man, I have never come so hard in my _ life _, dude!”

“Me, either!” Charlie fell over to his side, laughing. “I’ve _ tried _, dude! Like in my head and shit!”

“Me, too! “

“Impossible!”

“Literally impossible!” Mac shook his head and threw his arm up. “And we just ruined all of it because we couldn’t fucking_ admit_ it, you know? We were like… ‘Oh, it doesn’t _really_ count because we’re just friends and then... it _really _didn’t count ‘cause it was just a _game!_ ” He brought his shoulders to his ears. “And when you were there--” He pointed to Charlie. “It was just a _show!_” He threw his hand out. “And then okay, _yeah!_ It was _sex!_ But it wasn’t _sex_-sex ! It was just--” Mac shook his palm back and forth and grunted vaguely. 

Charlie started laughing. “Whatever helped us sleep at night, man.”

“Ain’t _ that _the fucking truth!”

Charlie thought back. “... I used to sleep like shit, dude. Even with the glue and cat food.”

Mac’s neck jerked to the side, desperate to forget about that part of Charlie’s life. “But you’re eating the tuna cans now, right?”

“Yeah,” Charlie grimaced. “It tastes so weird, though. Like fishy, but also like metal and shit.” Charlie grimaced. “Makes me feel like a chomp monster or something.” He bared his teeth and clacked his jaw a few times.

Mac held his palm out in the other man’s direction. “Just as long as you’re not eating cat food.”

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Don’t fucking talk to me about food, bro.”

Mac rolled his shoulders back and spat his words out. “I’m not making a _ comment _ about your _ body _ , _ asshole _ . I’m making a _ comment _ that you shouldn’t be eating _ cat food! _ ”

“My body! My choice!”

“Then WHY are you making that choice? Please! Fucking enlighten me, Charlie, because it’s been years, literally YEARS and you--”

Charlie shot up in anger. “NO! No way, dude! We are not doing this right now! This is The Smoke Room! We don’t do that shit in The Smoke Room!”

Mac groaned deeply with his fists clenching in Charlie’s direction. His lips were tight in towards his teeth and he took a deep breath. “Fine.” He shook his head, trying to fling the tension out of his body and mind. “Let’s just… change the subject or talk about … whatever!” He sighed.

Charlie’s mind happily switched gears. “Heh, remember when you guys showed me Predator?”

Mac cringed. “Jesus, man. Where the hell did _ that _come from?”

Charlie held his chest high as he sat across from Mac on the bed. “I just wanna say that I would totally bang Predator.”

Mac chuckled. “Wait, what? The alien? ”

“Well, I mean… he wasn’t really the alien, ‘cause Alien was the alien--”

“But like the space monster, right?”

“Heh, yeah.” Charlie grinned and nodded. "I'd let that guy fill me up to the brim."

"You and Schmitty and your goddamn alien banging! " Mac screamed. “I mean, dude! That movie had _ Carl Weathers _ and _ Arnold Schwarzenegger _ . _ Schwarzenegger _ , dude! And you’re talking about the _ space monster?! _ ”

“Ehhh, they were okay.” Charlie wagged his head with a grimace.

“OKAY?! DUDE!” Mac nearly jumped out of his own skin. “Their _ physiques _ were _ insane! _ Do you know how _ hard _ it is to develop _ muscle _ like that?!” He threw his hands up. “It’s LITERALLY insane!” He pounded his knees with his fists.

Charlie rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah, but it didn’t really get me _ going _ , you know? But that first time I saw Predator, I was like…” Charlie crouched in his seat, pretending to peek through tall grasses with binoculars, zeroing in on his camouflaged subject. “How does he _ see _ shit like that ? What was his _ endgame? _ What was his _ homeworld _ like? What kinda f _ amilies _ do they have there? What kinda _ farms _ do they have?”

“What?! _ Why?! _” Mac curled over laughing.

“‘Cause they looked neat as shit!” He threw his hand out in a chop. “A-a-and like fucking _ badass _, dude!”

“A _ space monster _ looked more _ badass _ to you than fucking _ Weathers _ and _ Schwarzenegger? _ ”

“Dude, he was like… _ different! _ ”

“But he wasn’t even _ real _ , dude! Carl _ Weathers _ and Arnold _ Schwarzenegger _ are real people and real human beings a-a-and they’re real!”

“_ Hey! _ I’m allowed to _ dream! _ I’m allowed to _ fantasize! _ I’m allowed to wanna, at least, _ meet _ a space monster if I want to!”

“Dude, you will _ never _meet a space monster!”

“I _ could! _”

“In _ this _ global economy?!” Mac scoffed. “Dude, we’re never going to make it to space at this point! All those movies and shit showed us going to space after achieving like… world peace or whatever.” He threw his hand dismissively. “Like, we made it to the moon, yeah, but we’re never gonna go back ‘cause all those middle men wanna do is fight over _ money _ and _ bombs _ and _ drugs _ and _ power _ and shit.”

“Hey! Don’t spoil my dreams, dude!” He yelled out in a huff. An idea sparked in his mind and he laughed to himself before speaking aloud. “I am an Adult Survivor of-of-of being raped as a kid!” He held up his index finger. “I think I _ deserve _ to meet a real space monster.”

Mac kept laughing. “You know what? You _ totally _ deserve that, dude. _ Totally. _ ” He bit back his smile. “And you deserve to be like… _ best friends _ with that monster and go like… on _ picnics and shit _ with that monster! “

“Yeah!” Charlie cheered, trying to keep a straight face. “ And I _ deserve _ to _ bang _ that monster!”

“Fine, fine fine!” He conceded. “ _ Totally _ , dude!” Mac’s face was red. “But he’s gotta be like… like a human, though, not like an animal, you know what I mean? Like he’s gotta have the same kinda brain that way you know it’s _ consensual! _ ” He punctuated his sentence by holding up his index finger.

“Well, yeah, dude! It’s gotta be _ consensual. _ ” Charlie’s eyes grew wide as his voice got louder. “What? You think I’m gonna _ bang _ somebody and it’s not gonna be _ consensual?? _ It’s GOTTA be consensual!”

Mac nodded sagely. “And it’s gotta be safe, too, dude. Like, you don’t wanna get space diseases and shit and you gotta make sure you set up your rules--”

“Well of COURSE it’s gonna be SAFE! You think I’m not gonna be _ SAFE _ about banging a _ SPACE MONSTER?! _“

“And Charlie… you know, I know_ you _ and you know _ me _ , ...but like if you’re just meeting this space monster and you don’t know him that well, you gotta make sure you’re in the right headspace, too, you know? Like you don’t wanna go in there and be all pumped up to bang ‘im but then he _ does _ something and you freak out and shit and like, _ I _ know how to chill you out, but this is just some _ space _ alien out there like… he might not totally know how your brain _ works. _ ”

Charlie gave him an incredulous look. “You think I’m just gonna _ bang _ the guy without _ you?! _”

Mac started laughing again. “ _ Why the hell am I _ there?! I don’t wanna _ be _ there to watch you bang a _ space monster! _”

“Why _ not?! _ I watched you bang _ Dennis _ all those years!”

“ _ SO?! _ “ Mac yelled with his arms out. “That doesn’t mean I wanna watch you bangin’ some _ space monster _ , bro.” His eyes find the ceiling in thought. “I-I-I honestly don’t wanna even imagine how that would _ work. _ ”

“Awww, come on, man. You’re takin’ the wind outta my sails, dude! Now I’m just floatin’.” He put his hand to his chest. “I’m just floatin’, bro, and you just left me in the middle of the ocean.”

“I’m sorry, man.” Mac held his palms up in surrender. “Sorry to leave ya like a floater but that’s where I’m drawin’ the line.” He looked at Charlie solemnly. “I don’t wanna watch you bang a space monster.”

Charlie conceded and nodded with a pensive expression. “You know what? I gotta respect that.” He held his hand up. “I gotta respect that boundary, dude.”

“You fuckin’ better.”

“I do, but now our whole flow is ruined and I don’t know how to get it back because I can’t remember where we started,” he said with his chin high.

“We were talkin about Predator, dummy!”

Charlie chuckled. “Oh right!”

Mac raised his eyebrows and grinned. “You wanna play?”

“No way, dude. Not how you guys did it.” Charlie coughed out a laugh. “It was just so weird because he was all over you, man, but the words you guys were using just didn’t make any sense--”

“Yeah, it all got kinda weird, but I mean,” He shrugged with a pensive expression. “At the time, we were… expressing ourselves through... creative and, frankly,_ revolutionary _ ways.”

“_ Bullshit! _ ” Charlie cackled. “That is _ not _what was happening!”

Mac threw his arms out wide. “Language is very complex, Charlie. Sometimes words can have more than one meaning. And we found a way to... _ change _ those meanings to suit our needs. We were… creating a language of our own.” He sighed. “It’s all very _ complicated _ academic stuff.”

“Oh wow. _ Mindblowing _ shit. I’m just … being _ filled _ with knowledge right now.” Charlie scoffed.

“Dude!” Mac laughed. “Do you know how _ long _ it took to _ make _ that game?”

Charlie jerked his head back. “What do you mean?”

Mac’s eyes grew wide, gearing himself up to share an exciting piece of history. “Dude, I gave him the _ hardest _ time when we made Predator.” He threw his head back with a hard laugh. “‘Cause like I was _ kinda freakin’ out _ about the way we were _ switchin’ words around _ and all that shit was like... screwing me up so I just kept _ pushing _ him and _ pushing _ him and asking all these _ questions _ and covering _ all _ the bases.” Mac beamed and leaned forward. “And he just kept _ working with me _ , dude!” He barked out a giddy laugh. “He just kept finding _ all _ these loopholes and shit and he was so _ patient _ and like _ nice _ about it! But like… genuinely nice ‘cause I could tell the difference," he groaned inwardly as he briefly recalled the times he ignored his instinct. He bit back his embarrassment. “But like, he didn’t give me shit or _ anything _ and like... it made me realize, ‘Oh shit, he really wants this, too.’” His laughter turned soft and warm. “Like he wasn’t just doing me a _ favor _ or whatever. Like he was putting the _ effort _ in, you know?” His smile turned into a performative grimace. “And then you would come in and start talking _ shit. _ ”

“Wasn’t that _ the whole point? _” Charlie shouted. 

“Dude! You used to ask me if I _ knew _ me and Dennis were gonna bang! We were in our fucking _ thirties, asshole! _ You think I didn’t _ know _ we were gonna _ bang? _”

“Hey, man! I couldn’t read you guys’ minds! It kinda freaked me out!”

“Really, dude? It freaked you out?” He gave Charlie a pointed look. In the beginning, Mac had thought _ even Dennis _ didn’t know that _ Mac knew _ that _ they were gonna bang _. “You still jerked off to it.”

“Well, I mean, yeah, dude. I’m not an idiot.” He shrugged with a smile. “I got the _ gist.” _

“_ Ha! _”

“But like, why did you guys let me _ in _ on that shit, _ anyway? _ I thought you just threw me in there to make sure it was all okay or whatever, you know? Like you guys needed my _ approval _ or some shit.”

Mac’s expression dropped. “Well… I guess we kinda _ did _ , man.” He tilted his head to the side in thought. “But it was also like… we were all best friends and we were all like… living this life together and if me and Dennis were gonna do something like _ that, _ you know, like… maybe _ you _ could do it, too.” He looked to Charlie with a shy smirk. “We wanted you to be a part of it.”

“I wanted to, man. I really did.” He chuckled, feeling a little embarrassed--a little exposed. “Sometimes I would just watch you guys and it was like…” He closed his eyes, manifesting a visual image of the deeper exchange he had witnessed. “You guys were tossing this _ ball _ back and forth and I kept looking for a way to get in and then it was like… Dennis would see me.” He opened his eyes and held up a palm. “And wanna throw me the ball but like… I just froze. I couldn't. I got too caught up in watching you guys go back and forth and I just didn’t wanna screw up this riff you guys had goin’ on.” He sighed. “Like I didn’t trust myself to _ not _ screw it up and ruin everything ‘cause like… _ I really wasn’t ready. _ ” He still held on to a little bit of shame--of Mac and Dennis knowing why he wasn't ready.

“Dude, we weren’t ready, either,” the other man responded. “At the time, we were all for it and like, you guys knew how to handle _ me _ , but now that I know how _ you _ get … “ He shook his head with a grimace. “It probably would have been _ pretty _ bad.” 

“Heh, yeah,” Charlie responded with the scratch of his beard. Sometimes sex was so simple. So easy. Sometimes it was a trip down Unwanted Memory Lane that resulted in Charlie curled in on himself, crying, while Mac kissed his cheeks and pet his arms. “But I’m getting better!” He raised his eyebrows with a smile.

Mac huffed out a laugh. “You’re kicking ass, man.”

Charlie reached over and rubbed his palm up and down Mac’s arm. “You’re kicking ass, too, you know that right?”

Mac shook his head with his brows squeezed together. “On a certain level, yes, I am always kicking ass, but--” He closed his eyes and sighed. “I-I-I’m doing okay. I’m okay.” He threw his hand out. “I’m fine. “

“Dude! You’re doing great!” Charlie pointed at Mac and raised his eyebrows high until Mac nodded with a smile. 

They took a moment to breathe. To look at each other. To feel the relief of all these buried memories being brought to the surface. To feel the life being put back into their muscles and bones and skin and minds.

Charlie sighed and bit his lips. “So like remember when you guys showed me Predator and you… kinda freaked out at the end?”

“Really, Charlie? Really?” Mac groaned, his palm flying to his face. “Did you really have to bring the _ specifics _ back up?”

“Well, hey, man,” Charlie chuckled. “We’re talking about shit. We might as well go all in.”

“You’re such a--” Mac rolled his eyes. “I fuckin--” He took a deep breath and grabbed Charlie by the arm. “I fucking HATE you! ” He held back his strength--didn’t really wanna hurt the guy. Just wanted to show him how intense he felt. “GOD, I fuckin hate you! Look, okay, that was like… so fucking em_ bar _ rassing for me, dude! _ That’s _ the shit I was always trying to block out!”

“Awww, Mac,” Charlie sang. “But it was like… so sweet, you know?” He laughed to himself. ‘_ Sweet.’ What a girly word…. _ “That’s what made it feel so … like… _ right _ , you know what I mean?”

“It was _ mortifying! _”

“But it _ wasn’t _ , dude!” Charlie squeezed Mac’s knee. “‘Cause we weren’t like… judging you or whatever and like thinking you were stupid and shit. We were telling you, you know, that we _ get it _ and we _ got _ you. ” Mac closed his eyes and nodded. “Like it was always gonna be okay because we were all best friends and we were gonna keep getting up and seeing each other like _ every fucking day _ and yeah, we were in denial that we all fucking loved each other but I mean hey-- _ me and you _ got there, you know? Like, dude, I’m fucking in love with you and I can say that.”

“Yeah, I’m in love with you, too.” Mac chuckled. “I can’t believe we’re doing this, man. And like for real!” He watched Charlie nod and smile. “Like we’re really doing this and it’s fucking awesome.” He stood up on the bed. “And fuck _ Dennis _ and fuck the _ church _ and fuck the fucking _ middle men _destroying America!”

“_ Yeah _, man!”

“Fuck _ everybody else _ but _ me _ and _ you! _”

“Fuck yeah! Me and you, dude! That’s all there is! FUCK everybody else!”

Mac threw his palm down for Charlie to slap, but Charlie grabbed him instead and yanked him back down on the bed. He wrapped around Mac, trapping his arms and squeezing him tight.

“Just me and you, man.” Mac said with a sigh and a smile, relaxing in the comforting heat and pressure of Charlie’s body. “Fuck everyone else.”

“Yeah, fuck ‘em.” 

Mac craned his neck up and gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek. Charlie grew flush, flattered by Mac’s affections. They could have sex. They could hang out. But the inbetween stuff--the stuff that really made him hot under the collar--the romantic partnership and intimacy--that was still something fairly new. Charlie had been craving honest love, not something brought through obsession or manipulation. But something without performance and true to the voice within. Mac had been craving tenderness, something to help fill the deep well of love and commitment in his chest as he learned to also love and commit to himself.

Charlie leaned down with a hot face and kissed Mac on his forehead. “I’m sorry that I can’t like… be here and be with you all the time.”

“What do you mean?” he asked with the squeeze of his brows.

“You know like… living with you and taking care of you and stuff.” He pecked Mac on the lips. “I thought I could_ do _ all that. I thought I could be a husband and a dad and a father one day, but I just feel so much _ pressure _\--”

“Well, hey, man. I’m not asking you to do all that. I’m not asking you to move in.”

“I know, but I still feel like I’m supposed to. Like things are supposed to be all different now.”

“Look, man,” Mac sighed. “Me and Dennis tried that. We tried to play ‘House’ and totally ruined it because we kept forcing ourselves into roles we thought we had to play and like… _ never fucking talking about it. _” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “You don’t wanna do Waitress-shit with me and I don’t wanna do Dennis-shit with you.” 

Charlie grinned. “So like… we can just do whatever we want and still be boyfriends and be like… committed and all romantic and shit?”

“Well, it’s _ man _ -friend--” Charlie rolled his eyes but Mac didn’t notice. “And _ yeah _, we can do whatever the fuck we want.”

Charlie nodded. “Yeah, man. I like that.”

“Me, too.”

Charlie pulled Mac closer and rubbed his hands up and down Mac’s back. He felt his body warming up, a tender heat prickling across the surface of his face and chest. He pressed his body a little harder into Mac’s, pressed his hands a little deeper. 

“C’mere,” Charlie whispered before leaning his lips into Mac’s. The initial joining was followed by soft nips and light moans. His gut softened, melting to the sound of Mac’s breaths and the smell of his sweat and cologne. Charlie pulled away and raised his brows. “You wanna have sex?” 

“Hell yeah, man.” Mac grinned. “Want me to suck you off?” He asked with excited eyes.

Charlie squeezed his eyes shut with a smile. “You always wanna suck me off, dude. _ Why? _ ”

“Because sucking you off is like… sucking the _ sorrow _ out of your _ dick. _”

“WHAT?!” Charlie threw his head back and squeezed Mac even tighter.

“Yeah, dude! It’s great! I don’t even have to try that hard! Like, I don’t have to get all sore and shit because you take like… _ no _ time at all.”

“THANKS!” Charlie shouted, one hand went from holding Mac to covering his eyes. “Why don’t you make me _ wait, _ dude? Why don’t you slow off?”

“_ Dude! _ You’ve been waiting for-fucking-ever for this shit. I’m not gonna make you _ keep _waiting!”

“Oh my god.” Charlie let go and covered his entire face. “Mac. You are definitely not going to suck me off, now.”

“Awww, no fun, dude.” Mac pulled one of Charlie’s hands away and kissed its palm and wrist. He tongued the bottom knuckle of his thumb and sucked it between his teeth. “What do you wanna do?”

Charlie’s heart started pounding. The hand that was once covering his face was now threaded through Mac’s hair. The other man continued to have this surprising effect on him, playing with his hands and fingers and signaling a full-bodied want. And this was Mac. _ His _ Mac. The Mac he spent years dreaming about and now he finally had him to himself. He reached forward, pressing his lips into Mac’s again, sucking and biting. His gut felt even warmer, his dick grew thick in his jeans. “Y-you wanna fuck me?”

Mac’s eyes grew wide in excitement, a bright joy overcame him before he simmered his nerves. “A-are you sure? We’ve only done that a couple times--”

Charlie groaned. “Dude, I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure.”

Mac smirked. “Okay, man.” He bit his lip. “You wanna go to my room?”

“Nah, let’s just do it in here.” He reached in his pants pocket. “I already got our _ ‘tools’. _ “

Mac chuckled. “So you _ knew? _“

“Well I mean… I thought _ maybe _…”

Mac chuckled again. “Okay, okay, man. That’s perfect. ‘Cause I didn’t feel like getting up.”

Charlie took a deep breath and stared at Mac with glazed eyes. “Yeah, me, neither.”

The other man’s smile dropped. He nodded and leaned forward, kissing Charlie hard and running his palm up his chest. “You wanna leave your shirt on?”

Charlie shook his head and pulled it off, tossing it on the floor. Mac nudged him back to lay flat on the bed and climbed on top of him. He leaned down and tongued Charlie hard on the neck.

“Shit, man.” Charlie’s breaths stuttered. “Every time you do that, it goes like straight to my fuckin dick.”

“Yeah, I _ know. _ ” Mac snickered. “You’re so _ easy. _”

“Fuck you.”

Mac smiled and continued, biting and nipping and sucking his neck and shoulder. One hand held a tight grip in Charlie’s hair and the other moved to his nipple. He pinched firmly before lightly toying it side to side. Another pinch before he moved his hand down and tugged upward on Charlie’s waistband, sliding the fabric against his hard cock.

Charlie didn’t know what to do sometimes, so he would let Mac take control. Mac knew his boundaries. Mac knew how his brain worked. Mac knew how to give him what he needed. ...Though sometimes when he was in charge and he would hold Mac down, jerk him off and make him come over and over again until there were exhausted tears in his eyes. 

But then there were times like these, when all the heat was too much for him to focus and Mac was working him so perfectly, so attuned to his body and his mind. And then there was also…

“I love you, Mac.”

Mac leaned back and eyed Charlie with a bite of his lip. “I love you, too.” He kissed Charlie on the mouth. “I love you so much.” He kissed his cheek. “I’ve loved you for so many years and I just didn’t know how to say it.” He kissed the scruff on his jaw and the freckles on his neck. “I know we can’t do this every day, but it’s so _ good _when we do.”

Charlie breathed out a ‘yeah’ and placed his hand on Mac’s cheek. He rubbed his thumb over Mac’s bottom lip. “I’ve loved you for a long time, too, man.” A tension in his chest unfurled and released an even deeper heat throughout his body, sinking further into what Mac was offering. _ Sweet, passionate love. _But it wasn’t nearly as tumultuous as he imagined. It was soft and comforting and natural. 

No performance. Just … _ home. _

They removed their pants and underwear without ceremony, tossing them aside before pressing back into each other--kissing, caressing, grinding their cocks. Mac pulled back and searched the bed for the lube. He looked to Charlie with his eyebrows raised and Charlie gave a quick nod. 

“You wanna be on your back or doggie-style?”

Charlie smiled. “Nah, I wanna look at you.”

Mac nodded. “Alright, man.” He poured some lube on his fingers before putting the bottle to the side. “Spread your legs a little and I’ll just do one finger to start.”

But as soon as Mac’s finger touched Charlie’s hole, he tensed.

Mac knew what to look for. “Hey, man. It’s okay. Open your eyes.” He waited for Charlie to breathe and look at him. “You gotta look at me, okay? ‘Cause it’s just me. It’s just me and you.” Charlie nodded and allowed himself to trust Mac’s words, the tension in his gut uncoiling. “I’m your best friend, alright? I’m never gonna hurt you.”

Charlie pursed his lips.

“Okay, fine, but I’ll make up for it,” he responded indignantly before turning his voice to something more peaceful. “And I’m not gonna hurt you _ here _ , like _ this _ \--you _ know _ that.”

Charlie nodded again. Mac was right. He had worked hard to gain Charlie’s trust in regards to sex and … Charlie _ did _ know that Mac wouldn’t hurt him like this. “Yeah, okay,” he whispered out and pushed himself against Mac’s finger, letting himself be penetrated.

“How’s that? You good?” 

Charlie confirmed with another nod as he bit his lip and moved his hips up and down. Mac’s expression was all business, but Charlie felt a fire beginning to boil inside of him. He wished he could just take Mac’s cock already. Get his prostate slammed. “One more.”

Mac obliged and carefully pressed in a second finger, gently letting Charlie stretch and adjust. He slowly twisted his fingers, keeping his eyes on Charlie’s face, watching it strain and soften and strain and soften. He took his time before asking to press in a third, pushing and pulling and widening Charlie up even more.

“_ Mmmm _,” Charlie hummed out in disappointment as Mac removed his fingers all together. 

“No complaints, dude. You get all pissy if I don’t wear a condom.”

“Heh, yeah.” 

Mac made quick work of the offensive latex. Another small drop of lube was all he needed before lining himself against Charlie.

“Be gentle,” Charlie warned and lifted his hips.

“Of course, man.” He pushed his cock past Charlie’s rim, giving small thrusts in and out as he went deeper and deeper. Charlie’s previous quiet demeanor gave way to low moans and gravelled curses. “You want like… a pillow or something under you?”

Charlie shook his head, panting as he started to fuck himself on Mac’s cock. “Shit just--” He gasped as Mac hit him in the right spot. “Just lean down--” He pulled Mac close, one hand scratching his scalp and the other digging into Mac’s ass. “Just f-f-fuck me--” He picked up the pace, curling his hips and wrapping his legs around Mac’s waist. “_ Shit! _” Mac hit his prostate again.

“Slow down, man,” Mac said with a smile. “Don’t you want me to make you wait?”

“Heh, oh yeah.” 

He grabbed Charlie by the hips, forcing him into a calmer, rolling rhythm. Charlie’s hands began to migrate over Mac’s back and arms, scratching and rubbing deep into his skin. He couldn’t seem to get Mac close enough. Wished they could swallow each other whole. 

“_ God _ ,” Charlie laughed at himself. “I just wanna fucking like… _ eat _ you.”

Mac muttered a ‘jesus christ’ through his grin. 

Charlie leaned down and sucked a nipple into his mouth, tonguing it, teething it, and moaning louder than Mac was--his hips still curling into Mac’s thrusts. With the calloused fingers of his right hand, he plucked that same nipple--hard--twice--and Mac gasped out a curse, stuttering his flow. Charlie slid his teeth upward to Mac’s neck, kissing and sucking and--

“Shit, Charlie, keep doing that,” Mac said through low grunts.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, man.” Mac chuckled. “Fuckin bruise me up. I don’t give a shit.”

** _You’re_ ** _ the one that’s easy, _he thought. Charlie was losing sight of his unattended cock that was pressed between their stomachs. He opened his mouth wide onto Mac’s trapezius, pressing and swirling his tongue hard--massaging the muscle. 

Mac picked up the pace.

Charlie was also losing sight of the burn of his core and his back, caught up in the lava-like feeling of his own body as Mac moved steadily in and out of him. Drool began to drip from his lips and spread in his beard as he gnawed on Mac’s flesh, fighting the urge to break skin and rip him to shreds in some kind of bloody, _ horny _ fury. He wanted to _ eat _ him, _ consume _ him, _ become _ him. A true beast with two backs. 

He plucked Mac’s nipple again, relishing in the sharp moans he was hearing, getting lost in the heat and the sweat and the fullness of Mac stretching him out and filling him up--

Til Mac pulled all the way out.

“What the--”

And pushed all the way back in.

“Oh _ shit! _ ”

He gave two shallow thrusts before pulling all the way back out again.

“C’m_ on _, man--” cried Charlie as he moved his hips to get Mac’s cock back inside him.

Mac chuckled. He held himself with one hand and pressed the head into Charlie’s hole, teasing him, moving it in and out _ so _ … _ just _ … _ barely. _

Charlie threw his head back in frustration and leaned back on his elbows. “I fuckin’ hate you,” he panted out. “I hate you so fuckin much.”

“You fuckin _ love _ me, asshole,” Mac said with a knowing grin, still nudging his head in and out, enjoying the sight of Charlie so desperate. “And you can’t start jerking off, either.”

“_ Why not? _”

“You’re the one who wanted to wait!”

“Waiting _ sucks! _ ” He groaned out and looked down at his own dick, wet with precum and sweat.

“I’m gonna make you come so hard, dude.” Mac slowly slid himself fully back into Charlie before sliding out again, just the tip breaching his rim. “You’re not gonna wanna bang a space monster after this.”

Charlie chuckled and bit his lip. “Nah, I’m just gonna wanna bang _ you _ after this.” He reached around to Mac’s ass, gripping and shaking his cheek, letting out all that annoyance that Mac wouldn’t just _ pound into him _ already. He threw his arm back and slapped Mac hard in the same spot he had just been gripping, shaking it again and pinching the meat with his whole hand. “ _ Shit _ , I wanna bang you right now.”

Mac let out a breathy laugh as he returned to a more satisfying rhythm. “Yeah?” He asked through his moans. “If you’re banging _ me _ \--” He gasped as Charlie latched onto his nipple again. Same one. Turning wet and bruised. “--then who’s banging _ you? _ ”

Charlie rolled the nipple between his teeth. He sucked hard and let go with a pop. “I guess the space monster,” he laughed out through his grunts and groans as Mac hit his prostate again and again.

Mac snickered, barely able to keep the conversation going while Charlie’s rim clenched around his cock and a heat scorched every inch of his skin. But he had to wait, too. He wanted to come just as hard as Charlie. Wanted to fill Charlie up and watch the come drip out of him. _ Goddamn _ ** _condom_ ** _ , though…. _ “So--” he choked out through pants as his muscles began to burn. “The monster fucks you while you fuck me?”

“Yeah,” Charlie answered with a smile, grinding himself on Mac’s cock and trying to get him to fuck faster. He reached a hand between Mac’s cheeks and rubbed his asshole, pressing it and teasing it, but never breaking through. “And we’ll like--” He let out a sharp groan. “--be floating in space so--”

Mac stopped thrusting and started chuckling. “Dude, you’re fucking me up--we gotta--” He sighed. “We’re trying to have sex here.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” Charlie laughed, skin still warm. He took a deep breath and rolled his body. Still teasing Mac’s hole with his finger. “It’s just me and you, man.”

Mac nodded with a grin. “Fuck everyone else.”

“Yeah, fuck ‘em,” Charlie parroted and started to move his hips again, wishing he could touch his dick, but Mac told him not to.

Mac met Charlie’s rhythm, fast but deep. “Get your mouth back on my nipples, dude.” 

Charlie smiled and leaned in. He gave it a few flicks of his tongue before reaching up with his fingers and twisting it. 

Mac gasped sharply. “Fuck, man, maybe like… even it out and do my other one.”

The hand that was on Mac’s ass moved to his hip. Charlie shrugged. “Nah.” He pressed the nipple hard with the flat of his tongue, rolling into it. He sucked it into his mouth, softly this time, and held the meat between his teeth while he flicked the nub with his tongue. He dragged his nails up Mac’s side, from hip to pec, and rubbed the nipple with the rough pad of his thumb. 

Mac had one fist in the mattress, holding himself up and the other was gripping Charlie’s hair, keeping him in place. He was losing his words and moaning and _ god! _ the sound of their skin slapping and Charlie’s heels digging into his back and _ shit! _ he noticed Charlie was squeezing his balls but still not jerking himself off and _ goddamnit! _ sweat was dripping into his eyes but he didn’t care--in fact it just made him pound harder.

And Charlie was groaning and agitated and moved from sucking Mac’s nipple back to sucking his neck, a couple inches below his ear. He loved Mac’s salt. His skin. His scent. Wanted to drink him up. Wanted to feel this addictive desire and connection for the rest of eternity. His whole body was on fire and his whole chest was opening up--as if their souls were vining and intertwining and lacing together. As if nothing else existed.

“Hey, slow down,” Charlie whispered out. He leaned into Mac’s mouth--biting and toying with his lips as Mac’s pace grew sluggish, but stayed deep. “You gonna come soon?”

“Heh, yeah,” Mac sighed. He went from gripping Charlie’s hair to gripping his hard, slick cock. The resulting noise from Charlie was graveled and low and long. He squeezed the base a few times before sliding up to the head and flicking his wrist. Then sliding back down and squeezing the base again.

Charlie felt his gut suddenly tense. “I-I-I don’t know if I can come.”

“It’s okay,” Mac said, and went back to jerking off the head and thrusting in and out of his hole. “It’s just me and you, man. I’m your best friend.”

Charlie nodded. Kept his ankles locked, but let his muscles relax. Let Mac work him. Let the walls inside his mind fall down. “You’re my best friend.”

Mac choked out a ‘yeah’, trying to keep his orgasm at bay until Charlie got his release. He could see it happening, Charlie nearly collapsing and fucking into Mac’s hand and fucking onto his dick. His moans grew loud and belly-deep and his hands were pushing hard into the mattress. Mac felt his rim clench around him when he finally did come, after a few seconds of speaking in tongues and shaking his head. 

Charlie groaned heavy as he clenched Mac’s hips, encouraging him to keep fucking him, even after he’d already come in Mac’s hand and on his chest. Charlie welcomed the blinding overstimulation as Mac proceeded to slam into his prostate with rapid, feral thrusts. “K-k-keep fuckin me, man. Keep goin. Show me whatchu got.”

He _ did _.

He pushed Charlie flat back on the bed, one hand on Charlie’s come-splattered stomach and the other wrapped around Charlie’s leg. He pushed through the burn of his thighs and arms and the whole goddamn bed was slamming into the wall and there was some shattering noise off in the distance but it didn’t even register as Mac grunted and panted and Charlie writhed and egged him on.

“Fill me up, man. Fill me up,” Charlie gasped out, eyes blurry, body still warm but defeated.

Mac couldn’t respond, just kept thrusting and working himself towards the finish line, groaning as a white flash overcame him and all the hot tension that had been coursing through his veins seemed to burst out like fireworks. His body’s nerves sparkled and tickled on the come down as he pulled out of Charlie and tried to get his head back on straight.

But Charlie didn’t give him the chance, just reached forward and pulled him close, sobbing into Mac’s chest. “I love you, Mac.” Tears were streaming from his eyes. “Shit, I love you so much. You’re everything to me, man.” He choked and cried and Mac held him tight (though his brain and body weren’t quite working at full capacity, yet). “I love you,” he repeated through his weeping.

Mac took a heavy breath. “Gimme a second.” He twisted away so he could peel the condom off and toss it on the floor. “C’mere, man. I love you, too.” He pulled Charlie close again, mirroring his grip. He stayed silent. Didn’t know what to say. Didn’t think he needed to say anything. 

Charlie just needed to feel him. Needed to let it all out for Mac to truly see the depths at which he loved--so strong and profoundly. He didn’t think his words and actions were ever enough--never felt like they truly communicated how connected he felt to Mac’s soul. And here he was, at his most fragile and vulnerable with the only man he’s ever fully trusted and known. 

Charlie had been making choices and Charlie kept choosing Mac. Day after day after day after day. 

And Mac chose Charlie back. Day after day after day after day. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments keep me going! Even if it's just one word!
> 
> \---hit me up if I'm missing any pertinent tags, please. :)


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